disgrunt

argh. Disclaimer: this post would most probably become my valley of rants. Seriously if you cant stand people complaining please don't scroll down. But if you're willing to be my "listening ear", well, i'm just glad someone's trying to understand yea?


Oh right. So right. Where have all my training went to? I mean... I've been rowing almost everyday and squeezing between studies and rowing is never easy.

So what. Am i like fast? Am i like the so called future-champion-in-national schools? Seriously, something is wrong. I don't even clock timings like what i should be doing, and what others are doing now, if i'm even going to win anything. Haiz... I'm lost. I'm tired. I am really disappointed and greatly afraid....

Things are not turning out well. And it hasn't been improving... My hopes are almost dashed... My dreams almost gone.
I know... I know i shouldn't be so worried... I know i should leave everything into His hands. Now, do i know how tough it is...

I don't know what is gonna happen to me.

Haiz... Do any of you knows what i'm talking about? Well, probably not. Maybe only those i've spoken too...
Don't leave me with nothing left to cling onto...
I know i'm weak... So much as i want to be strong and optimistic.

But, what's there to be optimistic about? Its only a month away... We cant even balance. Talk about going fast.

What i do is only complain and complain throughout the whole thing, trying to focus but nothing seems to go right. Everything's so bleak. Well, most probably having swimming lessons? I don't want to start blaming or anything. I know its partly due to me. But i dunno where to pick up from. Freak.

Now, don't get me wrong... I love rowing. Absolutely. That's probably the reason why i still hang on on wed and sat. Maybe that's the reason why i go down on other days too. Ahhh seriously, i dream bout rowing. But, loving it but sucking in it is not working, at all.
Freak. No one cares what i say. Cher don't. No one do. All i get is shit and f***s from him, hollering down from the other boat. Damn.

Ahhh i should be going back to my physics spa now. Enough said. I hope i didn't offend anyone cos i've no intention too... Haiz.

Dear God? Please help. Please... Really do. Because i'm stuck.