how is it like to have lost someone?

really?
if that someone, is someone you really really loved.
if that someone was not meant to be taken away from you.
if you'll never get to see him/her again?

and there is just so much, so many things left behind that remind you of her presence?
and you just cannot let go, not matter how hard you tried.

it burns a hole in your heart doesnt it.
it never heals would it?
nothing could ever mend it.
its burns and burns
sucks out all that's worth
cruelly and continuously stabs you.

until theres nothing left but nothing.
until you cannot feel yourself anymore.
because without her, there's nothing left.
because she was your everything.
the anesthetics kick in.
voidness floods your heart and soul.
tears dont fall anymore, and you blame yourself for it.
throat's totally dry and it would have felt weird to speak.
that stinging feeling in your eyes,
questions, thoughts,
doubts, denial,
your whole world has been sucked out completely.

leaving you an empty shell to end with.