bed of daisies

midyears are finally over. yayy! aha! but the thought of A levels not being over kept the books on my desk there. well, i had training today.

next week, a divisions. hard on me. i must admit that i have not so much hope placed on this supposedly big competition. not that i have no confidence, but i know where i stand. but, that i know for sure, where God stands in my life. i'll leave it to Him, where He wants to put me. well, many would claim i am just too set back by my own miniature standards and being too dependent on Him, i am proud of my solace in Him, that i can rely fully on Him.

everything's gonna be alright.

was i really for winning this race? to test my standard?

this i know that rowing is definitely my love. hmmm maybe i overrated it. well, its surely my passion. i row. and i row.

and i would be lying if i said this race do not mean much to me. i mean, ive trained so hard for it! but what if i didnt win...

how much will i matter to me?

God, i will just entrust this race into your hands. because i know in my hands (i probably just screw it up)

in fact i shall just leave my entire life with you. its already pretty much disheveled but i dont wanna mess it up anymore.

good to be loved by Him eh?=) i dont have to worry anymore!

whatever the outcome of the race (although i will still paddle my utmost best!), though i know i'll be yet disappointed and discouraged, i know that God has a very much bigger plan for me.=) and i trust Him for that.

right. i just read my friend's blog (finally bothered to find the link)... and i know ive seriously much affected her that day. i didnt mean to break apart in front of you, but... and its really not that i dont trust you. i might still be living in that little cocoon, or so you've claimed. but at least i know someone cares... at least i know that... probably you really understood. even though maybe time and time again you try to get me to open up but i just refused to, i seriously never thought of you as a quidnunc or such. in fact i felt comforted that you cared. ahhhh.

i felt that i could let you know how i felt that day so... i know i yelled at you and offended you with the propriety of my language. but that is so cause i thought you cared. i thought you understood. so i wanted to let you know that i was really upset. i think in short i just needed someone whom i trust to scream at. so it didnt work out.

haiz. so, don't give up on me ok? don't stop caring for me.

don't "bye" me... (although without you reminding me i'll still do my qt)

and i shall proclaim His glory.

for He is the centre of my life.

im glad that i have You.

i was just returning home from chill-out session at J8. well i didnt want to be at home yet, so i took a walk around central. i wanted to be alone, or so i think. i just had this yearning for someone else to be here with me, someone whom i can ask out anytime whenever i felt, alone. ahhh but there was no one in my mind. hmmm.

something have been on my mind.