when there's nothing left to hold on to.
When life has brought fucking mental pain.
When those screams in your mind are drowned by even more screams.
When bleeding wrists mean nothing at all anymore.
When empty promises, an endless trend.
When pseudo concerns revealed pretends.
When it just leaves one thing holding me from taking my own life.
When i am forsaken.
Me no more.

with no one to look for. To talk to.

I cry out in endless agony and scream in my mind. No one will understand. No one will.

No one cares.


Tell me i'm forsaken. My heart taste bitter tears every night. Every night. It's so dark, so dark. Just so dark...


Why have everyone left?

alone

repressed. beyond my control.
sometimes things happen,
they happen for a reason?
i have nothing, no one.

the guilt of my shortcoming,
my sin and shame.

the curse that lives with me,
lie in my heart forever.
when suddenly love forbids.

the greatest power on earth,
with me. yet i forsake, and forget.
how could i,
throw it away?

i used to stand against all odds,
no fear, i believed.
i prayed for strength.

what have becomed of me,
take a look at me now.
i am ashamed, appalled, abhored and dismayed.

i lay abandoned, destroyed, sin-felt dirty.
i am alone.

walk

walk beside Him obediently, without straying.

because you live.

Because you live and breathe
Because you make me believe in myself when nobody else can help
Because you live, girl
My world has twice as many stars in the sky
Because you live, I live

perdonare

I finally saw it. After a year. What a discovery.

http://thisfoolsdream.blogspot.com/

Not a fool anymore. forgive me, kyros.

the melody

when tears flow a melody down,
could almost taste the thread of bitter regret
with every pore on bare flesh.
it felt so exposed, naked.
uncanny mint chill.

an illusion, a dream.
all a delusion.

every belief,
every promise,
every vow,
every truth.
a lie.

what is trust then?
is there Love, as so?
these aren't even worth mentioning in this polluted cosmos.
these doesnt exist as reality anymore.
because of man.
with their worldy desires and ambitions.

even tears, so pure
tastes so bitter.

i have seen the hideous face of man,
it comes straight from the heart.
i have understand the downright ugly nature of man.


seen enough in the mirror,
heard enough of the iniquitous inner voice
i have understood myself.

this time, this time.
relieve the old sin of Adam and Eve,
the growing temptation,
the desire to be omnipotent.
the yearn for wisdom and vision and sight
the fall of man-kind is
yet, a new beginning.

i see your sardonic smile,
i breathe the lingering evil mist.

mingle, mingle.
in the icy cold fiery hatred of the World,
and therefore, thee shall hold.

my mask.

i probably tell them its just random lyrics of a song.

heaven

i tear in silence,
laugh in salient.

i do scream in agony,
slash till i bleed.
but i do that in silence too.

i burn in hell,
feed the maggots,
try to remain as quiet as possible.
lets not disturb them shall we?

it looks like my soul is half devoured.
dangling pieces of the ruin lay, dangling.
yet i laugh, i really did.

sealed in a deadly dome,
spears, swords, daggers, words.
cut into me.
but i am already immuned.

my soul already stolen from me,
my flesh, yours to play with.

my only companion,
probably this vented village.
yet i find no comfort in this emotion-less.
maybe that's why i can confine.

only the faithful will stay.
are there none?

serenity.

now.

deafening rhythm and noise,
the usual reflex.
yet all it was, a melodious silence.

the twin tools of comfort,
my own world.
my thoughts. griefing lamentations.

was it regret,
or?

again, oblivious to hard feelings,
insensitive splats,
yet. touched by some cares.
although held back by helplessness,
willing shares of woes.
my gratitute, unsaid.
untold, unshown.
appreciated

nonetheless,
inevitable hostility on my part.
understood i hope.

raging fragments
shreded souls,
lost memories,
what do i do?

choices it seems, i had.
all i wanted, be fair
her piece i will listen.
her thoughts i must understand,
her decision, mine.
or was it so?
i didnt know.

the beginning started here.
i was loss for words,
for help,
for love,
actions.

we could no longer delay.
the hourglass spinning my misery,
hers.
we knew.

we were slipping,
reluctance, yet afraid.
learn from mistakes?
we knew the roots, why.
countless episodes,
reasons.
conclusion.

before the beginning was rashness,
we defeated friend.
too quickly.
too fast to even know each other.
we admitted.
feelings took to sprints,
we soar so high.
thats why we fell.

the end is right.
she is right,
i am.

what is love?
is love which is not everlasting, love?

after the end,
everything settles,
it all seems so peaceful now.
2 weeks of hell,
now im back to my life.
with friends, close friends, soulmates.
i had so willingly relied on.

friendship love.
the open doors
thats mine.

and now,
adresu dances in the rain
the way he is, wants, and used to be.

Over You

Daughtry - Over You

Now that it’s all said and done
I can’t believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down
Like an old abandoned house
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath
I fell too far, was in way too deep
Guess I let you get the best of meeee

[Chorus]
Well I never saw it coming
I should have started running
A long, long time agooo!
And I never thought I’d doubt you
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know
I’m slowly getting closure
I guess it’s really over
I’m finally gettin’ better
Now I’m picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you!!!

You took a hammer to these walls
Dragged the memories down the hall
Packed your bags and walked away
There was nothing I could say,
And when you slammed the front door shut
A lot of other’s opened up
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for meee


[Chorus]
Well I never saw it coming
I should have started running
A long, long time agooo!
And I never thought I’d doubt you
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know
I’m slowly getting closure
I guess it’s really over
I’m finally gettin’ better
Now I’m picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you!!!

I never saw it coming
I should have started running
A long, long time agooo
And I never thought I’d doubt you
I’m better off without you

And I never saw it coming
I should have started running
I’m finally getting better
Now I’m picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
And I got over you!!!
And I got over you!!!
And I got over you!!!

The day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you…

bold.

nothing else matters. He has already done it all.

when help arrives.

Our Help In Time Of Need
Hebrews 4:16
16Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain
mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

If you are facing a time of need right now in your life, I want you to know
that you have a standing invitation from your heavenly Father to come
boldly to the throne of grace to obtain mercy and find grace to help in
time of need.


The phrase "help in time of need" means that you get healing when you are
sick, provisions when you are in lack, restoration when your relationship
with a loved one breaks down, and favour when news of retrenchment or bad
prospects is rife.


"Pastor Prince, how can I come boldly especially since I have been a lousy,
sinful Christian?"


You can come boldly because you come to God by the blood of Jesus Christ
and not by how you have lived your life. So whenever you come into God's
presence, you don't have to be afraid that your sins will be shown up
because the blood of Jesus has removed every one of them. God cannot detect
even one single speck of sin because He sees only the blood of His Son that
has been shed for your total forgiveness and acceptance.


My friend, when you have failed and need mercy, God's Word assures you that
you will find mercy when you come boldly to God. Mercy means that you don't
get the bad things you deserve, such as condemnation, poverty, failure,
loss and even death.


And mercy is not the only thing that you will obtain when you come boldly
to God. You will also find grace. Grace means that you get the good things
that you don't deserve, such as health, protection, anointing, favour, good
success and life more abundant.


So come boldly to the One who loves you passionately, unconditionally and
with an undying love. Come boldly to Him who knows everything about your
situation and has the solution. He has wisdom far beyond that doctor you
highly respect, that lawyer you greatly honour and the best experts you can
consult. Beloved, come boldly to the throne of grace to obtain mercy and
grace to help in your time of need!

sugar rush.

be now, the destitute of love.
trapped in sands of time, the devoid hearted.
beneath the levitating heaven
the wrenching valley,
lay my bench in the park.

Exacerbated,
your words were salt.
depreciate my pride, i rot from the sauve.
intensity of internal differences,
the haughty stoic.
my drapes, remains of the intrinsic carnage.

i lay an infinity away,
the exasperation of your thoughts,
the louse in your eyes.

i hold the plauge of pococurantism.
the definite dice of hope-lessness.
the supposed shadow of your beliefs, expectations.
you embraced Big,
i was, infact small.

i was just not myself.

Casting Crowns , Who Am I

Casting Crowns , Who Am I

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wondering heart.

Not because of who I am.
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done.
But because of who you are.

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord you catch me when I'm falling,
And you told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again
Who am I?
That the voice that calm the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.

Not because of who I am.
But because what of youve done.
Not because of what I've done.
But because of who you are.

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord you catch me when I'm falling,
And you told me who I am.
I am yours.

Not because of who I am.
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done.
But because of who you are.

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord you catch me when I'm falling,
You told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
'Cuz I am yours.
I am yours.

Psalm 55:1-8

Listen to my prayer, O God,
do not ignore my plea;
hear me and answer me.
My thoughts trouble me and I am distraught

at the voice of the enemy,
at the stares of the wicked;
for they bring down suffering upon me
and revile me in their anger.

My heart is in anguish within me;
the terrors of death assail me.

Fear and trembling have beset me;
horror has overwhelmed me.

I said, "Oh, that I had the wings of a dove!
I would fly away and be at rest-

I would flee far away
and stay in the desert;
Selah

I would hurry to my place of shelter,
far from the tempest and storm."

Confuse the wicked, O Lord, confound their speech,
for I see violence and strife in the city.

Day and night they prowl about on its walls;
malice and abuse are within it.

Destructive forces are at work in the city;
threats and lies never leave its streets.

If an enemy were insulting me,
I could endure it;
if a foe were raising himself against me,
I could hide from him.

But it is you, a man like myself,
my companion, my close friend,

with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship
as we walked with the throng at the house of God.

Let death take my enemies by surprise;
let them go down alive to the grave, [b]
for evil finds lodging among them.

But I call to God,
and the LORD saves me.

Evening, morning and noon
I cry out in distress,
and he hears my voice.

He ransoms me unharmed
from the battle waged against me,
even though many oppose me.

God, who is enthroned forever,
will hear them and afflict them—
Selah
men who never change their ways
and have no fear of God.

My companion attacks his friends;
he violates his covenant.

His speech is smooth as butter,
yet war is in his heart;
his words are more soothing than oil,
yet they are drawn swords.

Cast your cares on the LORD
and he will sustain you;
he will never let the righteous fall.

But you, O God, will bring down the wicked
into the pit of corruption;
bloodthirsty and deceitful men
will not live out half their days.
But as for me, I trust in you.