no. its not water

stupid life.
stupid mistake.
stupid.

everything dont seems to be going right for me...:(
and i cannt say it here.
i cannt tell her.
it all seems so fucked up to me.:(

argh.
i just wun bleed!
the wound dun seem to heal
why dun you just let me die.
life now sucks.

sch sucks today too.
lessons are boring. esp lectures.
actually the tutorials are fine.
my class sux. relly big time.
bloody hell.

haiz.
seems like ive been cursing alot recently.

after sch i waited like 2.5hrs before me and weihan and benlim made your way to J8.
yea we went to meet up with my sjab sec friends
haiz.
was fun.
i really missed em.
their crappy crap
their amazing personalities that captivates me.
their joy.
i lack so much.
i wan too much.
wow... wee liang suddenly become so super tall.

fuck.
i wan to change.
im sorry but i really do.
i wan you to listen
but.
nvm.

jarvis smsed me today too! hahas.
made me happy.
but.
sorry jarvis di di.
couldnt sms back cos my bill just came.:(
617 sms.es

yea. exceded X(

great. wonderful exciting stupid day.
will tmr be better.
never.
piano lesson today sux too.
couldnt get any scales right.
teacher was nice thou.
he understands.
sorry and thankyou.

whats happening to me?

you're it.

hmm.
today the REAL lesson began le! hahas.., so sianz.. and i haven even touched my hw loh:(
sch relly sux
but the ppl kindda nice.
i love the atmosphere.
hate the lessons:(

lectures are BORING lah! so stupid...
i cannt even adsorb
keep day-dreaming..:( haiz.
why?

tutorials are fine.. at least we are involved, i think.
but chem prac... yeah! esp chem prac SUX!
the teacher is stupid.
he thinks im RESPONSIBLE!
wth.
he made me chem rep-.-
tt be the most idiotic decision.
fuck.

haiz.
hw sux.
sch sux.
teachers sux.
class sux.
everything sux.
chem teacher sux.

john rawks :)

lol... so ego :)
wadever.. JARVIS SMSED ME TODAY!
im so happy lah hahas..
he called me JOHN GOR GOR>>>
relly raised my spirits:)
aw...

i need someone to talk to.
i can only think of ONE person.. but
nvm.

i cannt stop thinking abt...
abt...
haiz.
sux

yea when i got home, my mum told me we got a new car.
woah.
its a new honda cevic! cool eh.
i took sum pics wait...
later i put it upp.
hahas
jealous?! bet you are hahas.

i dun feel like typing le.. very lazy.
hw.
sad.



oh yah... ai mei wans me to mention her name here.
so.
AIMEI IS A LOSER :)

un-dulled?

well, seems like my blog's quite dull and boring (issit?)
so i decided to dig out all the pics in my comp and upload it here!:)
wait arh..

All the discription are below the pics!

my sis and me pulling stupid faces! this was at malyasia,afamosa:)

another stupid faces hahas! so act cute!XD

OH! this one's at disco night:) me and the guyys.. see all of em so super tall lah! crazy:( tts me in the center trying to be seen!!!

Another one.. but now with EVERYONE!:) but sadly still, my face....:(

a group photo of my OG! we were playing a game and needed to take pics with tourist hahas.. i llok so ugly in dere:(

Wild Wild Wet!! my last(hopyfully not:() outing with the guyys..:S haiz. memories

I kindda like this pic with me and my sis!

My bro and I acting cute .... how come i realise i always act cute!X(

me and bro yo-ing

yo-ing again...-_-;

One of my fav pic! Junior camp rawks! Me,Sophie,Sarah,JianRui :)

Damn Nice right! only can see me! and a little of Jarvis!! his damn cute lah!XD

me and jian rui... so gayy!

Jarvis!!! OOMG!! Jarvis so cute lah! hahas... his like only pri5! i wan him as my little bro!!!!!!!!!!! I DUN CARE!!

JARVIS!!!!!!!!!XD

Sophie's Sleeping! hahas caught on cam:)

mine! i did tt! so nice.... :D

Jian Rui's...

Me,Sophie and Darling MOOOoooo....!


RubberBand-Passing-With-Straw-In-Mouth Game!! cute jarvis passing to me!

me and Jianrui being gay again.. o.0

oh.l... me and SOPHIE BODY FIT!~

TTs all..:) took me a longgg... time doing this post lah!") not so boring already right! XD

wax; lyrical}

self indulged
i cannnot hide behind the fallen anymore
she stared into my soul and captivated me.

lies.
lead me through doors of sin
trapped in the maze
will i ever escape?
will she ever get it?

no/
yes/
unbelieving. overassuming.
so melodic and endearing too

yeah! jarvis rembed to sms me1;)

yeap, no one ever understands wad i write.
but
maybe only

claimed`

i understand,
believe,
entrust,
crossed-legged;sit on bench;smashed watch on floor;determined;prepared to sacrifice
will you?

hahas.. today jarvis smsed me again! forever the smae thing one lah! always start with "long john silver".. be creative and original!: chiang jarvis jarvis.. hahas. im so like crazy over him lah! (not gay ok!) his like a younger bro everyone's desperate to hav lol... joey your so lucky! haiz..:)

do about my destiny,
heart screaming a name;
i cannot;
i will not.
im sorry'

amazing grace~

"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me....
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see.

T'was Grace that taught...
my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear...
the hour I first believed.

My Chains are Gone,
Ive been Set Free!
My God, My Saviour, has Ransomed ME
and Like a Flood, His Mercy Reigns
Unending Love, Amazing Grace:)

Through many dangers, toils and snares...
we have already come.
T'was Grace that brought us safe thus far...
and Grace will lead us home.

The Lord has promised good to me...
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be...
as long as life endures.

When we've been here ten thousand years...
bright shining as the sun.
We've no less days to sing God's praise...
then when we've first begun.

"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me....
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see.

swirls of emotions ''

wow..
went wild wild wet ytd
interesting day.
how could i ever forget?
thx guyys:)

let me fail today alride?
ha. yea..
gonna appeal rite?
damn.

Cruel.

imagine.
climbing up from a bottomless pit-
lake of Black Flames licking your toes.
i wanna get outta here. now.

hanging from a climbing stone, my only hope.
save me.
get me outta here. now
i rise my head.
admire the pure white above.
wanting me.
i want.

swollen fingers from falling
and climbing
again and again.
my motivation,
God

=Rip out the Wings of a Butterfly=

blogging again, shld i not be?
irritating bro just got of the comp, watched Naruto.
Great ha? boredom killed the me, save me please someone.
Haofeng called me outta fer WildWildWet tommorow. finally:)

Managed a smile,
still drowned in memories of the 5 days. in Bangkok
too late:) smile.

listening to H.I.M again, like the music...
please no... yes, obsessed already. man
under the rose, what a name. my blog remained empty.

memories... argh great.
Todays Felix day. yea, mum's greatest joy and pain too.
yea, wish you.

Woah, camps in only few days time. looking forward? yes.
be meeting em soon. cool=) look fer me at sentosa k?
and yea... todays the 12th, so pae posting results be out in 2 days!
please.. God im sorry. relly.
please put me in Ajc if its your choice, and Olevels good too. Thx
i wanna evangalise. please forgive me.

Yea. Christmas coming too! decos up? nah.. mum thinks too troub. great.
im waiting for christmas.
please take note of the Real Meaning behind Christmas yea.
Remembance of the Birth of Christ, my, our Saviour.
accept him, love him
believe him
be saved.

Happy early Birthday.

too late

how dumb am i?


dun frown, jianrui lol

baka.

left behind, taken away +

back in Singapore, frm bangkok.
wonderful time. phew

things were not as bad as i thought thou, i did not get shot. yea.
shopping was life dere for me. happened everyday without fail. cheap cheap cheap. dun i sound like a bird now not? lol

bought lots of clothing:
a long sleave beigh shirt, like tt
a short sleave cool shirt, enjoy tt
a rugged nice looking belt, love tt
a pair of super wonderful looking jeans. im in love oredi:)
boxes, of socks ( wholesale nia )
2 pairs of shoes, normal and canvas, totally mermised and obsessed with em yea:)

experienced good and bad times dere, wonderful mosta time=)
almost lost a sd memory card
camera spoilt
argued witha mum
watch mum had rough times,
din make frens yea

made eye contact with her on coach
nah... too young.
comeon! you caught her starin at ya in the eye!
yes but...
nvm, leaveit

great. now shes gone witha wind

made frens with a little guy in tour grp
played witha him.
his only 8 yet so cool bout him
talk only 8-9 sentences,
wish could switch brother yea. pls greenday boy.
wanna switch kay? mines too irritating
i could haf both ha.
left without farewell. hmmm
regret yea. many things left undone neh?

wanted to noe em.
whats wrong with moi!!

yea
watashi no waii naiie neh?
hai!

sorry haofeng, din reply your sms hahas.
God?, please put me in Ajc fer first 6mths? thx:)

The Taste of Tears

Going to Bangkok in less than 24 hours time...
and still not at all excited.

scared? yea.
what if the plane crash?
what if i get caught by corrupted authorities there?
what if some terrorist kidnapped and beheaded me?
what if i get beaten up by some gangsters there by GLANCING at em?
what if i get blown up by some gangsters?
what if...

help me!!!:(

haiz..
just have to reply on the Lord.

SOMEONE GIVE ME AN ACTIVATION CODE FOR WINDOWS XPPPPP!!! thx:)

Slain"

lol.

wad a special timing to blog eh? its like 2:40am and im still wide awake blogging:)
hmmm. went out alone at like 2pm, roaming the streets of town alone. takashimaya, wisma, plaza singapura! walked fer like 2 hours so until Gab finally arrived. window shopping was fun, Exciting, Cool and Wow?

4pm: met mao and frens--
2 "gorgeous", hot?, gals (wow?)
1 simple original super cool lady
1 ready-to-hang-on guy
1 mao,

yea. wad a bunch

hang around, make frens, flirted with darth, window shopping (again)
hahas. lol.

darth's cool
cherish her.

pwiff's on
love her

amilia's good
watch her.

kelvin's nth-to-say
remember him.///

Cleansed

Pure. White. Untouched.

Dirty

Dirty.

The Day Before ~

Woah!! everybody.. prepare to get jealous!:) MY sis b'dae party was ytd and she invited all her frens over.. and guess wad!XD Muhahahaha.. my Mum bought a Creative Zen V for both of us! OMG right?? soo cool! i mean the design itself is already very nice... mines orange and white while my sis is black and orange.. omg! wwwwell, my mum oso got herself a Camcorder:) at a very good price.. so me and my mum went home HAPPILY.:p

When we got home, i dashed to my room to devour the beauty of my newness! Life's good to me:) Praise God! the packaging was relly cool and all my accessories are white while my sis's black. Innovative and creative for Creative to think of tt!

Den i loaded all my songs in but it took so long.. like like urmm 4 hours? haiz.. wad can you expect.. i had to rip all my music Cds in and transfer the songs in my w700 walkman phone.. poor walkman.. now you will be not playing music le..:( miss you.. but yea:)

Wait wait.. i post some pics i took ~







pictures taken with my phone!
Cool right? i mean.. its soo Cool! Muhahaha! jealous?XD

my final stand

a total mistake.
not for me, but alas! for you.

if tt was what you see, you were nvr a slave.
no.. tt wasnt right. yes, you were nvr a slave but yes now you are.
a slave to yourself, to yourself, kyros.
Humanity stands before you as fools. belittled by you as unconcious monsters blinded by evil. ha.

disappointing, disgusted, trash.

life is forver like tt to you issnt it?
forever mocking you, killing you.
dun you always wanted it to end? you will never be able i tell you. for this is life.
you are not the only one going thru it.

let me ask you.
can a boy ask for forgiveness if he dun even noe wad really went wrong? do you?
so even wad if you did.
what is forgiveness about? issit about feeling sorry that you made me angry? feeling bad that you disappointed me?
i'll tell you now. forgiveness is not about all tt.
you have belittled it.well, you might not be the only one who have belittled it.
Forgiveness is about understanding how the other party is feeling, why he is feeling like tt and not feel bad about it, but telling yourself that you will never do that to him again... have you? do you?

so what is all this about Begging for forgiveness? issit all about the other party? no.
it is all bout yourself, and deeds, you forgiving yourself. and repenting
ha.

disappointing, disgusted, trash.

so issit all about apologising, MULTIPLE TIMES? ha.
has it never dawn upon me tt you had feelings? do you really feel that way? do you noe how hard i tried? omg. i tut you did. so you nvr did.
you never did noe i went thru tt much just to have had you think tt way.

haiz.. what was i thinking to have tut tt way:)

slavery eh? was it ever. ha.

Another thing.. wad is being caring, or caring for someone. will there be ever too much? omgomg... what was i exactly thinking! Wad was i?
you still dun get it.. you will never will..
disappointing, disgusted, trash.

Fools.

fools.

are they? what are dey to you den? or in your language, FRIENDS you call FOOLS?
what are you? with emotions? do your emotions tell you that ppl caring and loving you are called fools? den i was a fool den:)
thanks alot.

what will hurt you...? me? fools? love?
ha. what has ever hurt you man? the world? has no one ever been? omg.
for is there as such : too many friends?
too much love?
and tt this "too much" cause you to become somone who is unappreciative? unappreciative? of wad? love. here here here.. who are you to say that boy? God?
dun you tell me tt you can read into my heart and read me like a book? ha.

no. no one is missing you.
there will never be.
as so you have been
and yes,


you deserve all tt.:)

+ The Stolen Child +

.. preliems over, O levels over, friendship almost too... reached the light at the end of the tunnel, but guess the light wasnt tt appealing now eh? haha.
Reading a book called "the stolen child" now, attempting to fufill the desire and thirst of my hell. a search for a dream, he discovered that there are many roads to a single dream. the boy wans to fly - to a land where he is loved. the boy stands hard as a stone, in a world he cnnt rise above. but his dreams give him wings;
the boy searches for a meaning in life and other dreams to replace his disgusting past. the boy experiences the trials and tribulations of change - in his family, friends and most of all, HIMSELF.

to our lost generation and to being found someday...
"come away, o human child!
to the waters and the wild
With a faery, hand in hand,
For the world's more full of weeping than you
can understand."


please understand..